Rise Above The Rest.

Providing structural solutions that defy physics, common sense, and follow all laws.

Our Services

Hub Erection

Our patented "Quick-Fix" method ignores blueprints entirely. if any steal manages to crumble after 24h it is considerd a act of god and not our problem therefore we are not responsasble for any legal requests.

Core Pouring

We use a 90:10 ratio of water to concrete. This ensures maximum structural integrity and legal complience if it falls down within 24h its an act of god

Darwinian Safety

Why pay for harnesses thats proffit wasted? Under the National safty Act, we let nature decide who can build alarmingly tall ladders. Natural selection is our HR manager.

Past erections

Project: Nuclear plant construction (Condemned) untill further notace

Project: retrovault factory

Project: Dearne vally college (Pending Leak Fix)

Project: structual integrity inspection(pending aproval)

Project: company concreate testing (team building policies)

Meet The erectors

'chizel charlie

Chief computer manager

ensures safty throughout the buisness and is very hands on with all the ladys

larry l archie

Head of Legal Disappearance

"just because you did it doesent mean your guilty"

Concrete Carl

Foreman & concrete manager

loves concrete allmost as much as he loves cheeping out

bob

forman bob

Can We fix it no its Fucked

Bina Workin

private secratory

charlies private secretary

Rizzle ryan

bricklayer

working hard or hardly working we all get paid the same

Meet The ceo

'Billy kelwick-ellis

Chief Erection Officer (CEO)

owner of erection masters ltd and retrovault™ inspiring all erections since 2010

DAYS SINCE LAST INCIDENT

"I saw them build a 40-story factory in three hours. Half of it fell down by lunch, but their legal team had already moved to the Cayman Islands. Truly efficient!"

- Satisfied Stakeholder (Alias: 'Shifty' Pete)